Friday, June 19, 2009

Getting Started

One might think that a search for fellowship in the world of bloggers would be for the lonely, not for a fulfilled and happy person like me! (Maybe I'm lonelier than I think).
Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to meeting a new community of believers and searchers for truth, and to sharing thoughts and ideas that might provoke interest in, and passion about, the important things in life: faith, family, friends, work, values.

I would have to say that today it is family I am most thoughtful about. So many friends and acquaintances have told me recently about strained relationships with their teenaged and young adult sons and daughters, that I have been examining my own relationships with my kids. Why did so many things go well? Why do some things still bring about angst and tension? What are the keys to good parenting, not only of children, but of almost grown and fully grown young adults?

For our family, I'd have to give the credit for any success we've enjoyed to unity around our faith. My husband and I both believe passionately in the one Lord of all, and in His interest in our daily lives. The key word here is "both". It is tough, though not impossible, to do it alone! From the beginning we sought wisdom from Him (we certainly didn't have much of our own!). It paid off. Because we knew our limitations, and looked to the Word and to Him for answers, the victories outweighed the difficulties (of which we experienced like all families), and the final "products" are sources of true joy in our lives.

Did we do it all right? Of course not; but one of the pleasures we have now is watching our kids raise their kids with that same unity of faith, seeking wisdom from above, listening to the counsel of godly friends and family, and even clearly demonstrating that they learned from our successes and from our mistakes. Somehow it's worth the pain of difficulty to see that it enables us to teach what NOT to do, as well as offering suggestions that are positive.

I'll close this post with what we found is probably the number one, most practical, and most necessary ingredient in good parenting: unconditional love. We didn't come up with the idea; it's a common refrain in many books and seminars. But we did discover by experience that this is what gives wings to kids and allows them to enjoy a life as free of self-doubt as possible.

Do you agree? Do you have an opinion about the value of unconditional love for our children? Might there be questions about what it means? I hope you will feel free to share them here. How far should that unconditional love go? Should it be for friends and co-workers, too? And for in-laws and extended family? Hmmmm.